Ashley Lande
Ashley Lande is an outspoken Christian who boldly professes her love of Jesus with words and illustrations. As a writer, Ashley looks to find truth, or God, in her own personal experiences. Her prismatic artwork, on the other hand, is an exercise in aesthetics and control. Her drawings are both psychedelic and religious, a dichotomous marriage of her past and present which Ashley has harnessed into the strangely harmonious, vivid style that captures the attention of hipsters and Christians alike.
Ashley stands in front of her eclectic, DIY chicken coop, which features various levels of interconnecting spaces, bright colors, decorative plywood shapes, and even a swing (which unfortunately the chickens are not inclined to use). Raising chickens is one of her favorite pastimes, even though a rooster once tried to eat her eyeball; read her account HERE.
“Both mediums engage very different parts of my creativity. For me writing is more of an emotional outlet, or therapeutic outlet, and…I really think of art in terms of creating beauty. The writing is more of a digging for spiritual truths or digging for the presence of God.” Her artwork often pairs high-contrast, intricate patterns, neon colors, gold leaf, and portraits of people she loves with a Bible verse. She doesn’t make “anything other than what I would consider devotional or spiritual art” now, which is much different than the art she was creating ten years ago when she was a young atheist experimenting with hallucinogenic drugs, searching for meaning in life.
“I was an atheist before I tried psychedelics,” she confesses. “I don’t recommend that people take drugs, and I don’t want my kids to take drugs, but I feel like God reached me that way.” At the time, she felt that using psychedelics fueled her creativity and allowed her to see things in a completely new way. “It’s like this visual feast of pattern,” she explains. However interesting the visual experiences may have been, they ultimately lead her to a mentally scary and unhealthy place, and she believes it is a testament to God that He could reach her at that time. She hasn’t used drugs for many years and now and she worries “that I’m too trippy for Christians and too Christian for trippy people,” unsure if not fitting clearly into one category minimizes her audience or expands it.
Being so open about her past drug use, and seeing their graphic influence in her artwork, can be confusing to her audience. A Christian friend told her, “I like your artwork, but I don’t understand it.” Ashley reflects, “I’ve had the temptation to play it safe more, but God doesn’t play it safe.” Although some of her audience may not comprehend the totality of her work, that doesn’t mean it isn’t appreciated.
Easter Everywhere, 2016. Pencil, colored pencil, and gold leaf on paper.
An atheist once paid her a compliment of the highest form; “I cry every time I read something you write,” she commented on social media. Ashley was encouraged that her faith-based writing touched this woman’s heart, rather than disgusted her. “If I’m being completely transparent, I think the Gospel changes everything. I want people I love, and people in general, to know that and embrace it. And so I try to be really outspoken about Jesus.” She uses her creative talents and social media as a tool for outreach and evangelism, but has avoided repelling people because she is authentic, celebratory, and both visually and intellectually stimulating even to those who may shirk at religion.
For No Word From God Will Ever Fail, 2020. Pencil, colored pencil, and gold leaf on paper.
Ashley’s artwork categorically differs from that of more commonplace contemporary Christian art and her writing is equally singular. Her style stands alone in it’s raw content and extensive vocabulary, and apparently her chosen format also eludes trends. After completing her first memoir, Ashley reached out to multiple Christian publishing companies about printing her work and “I was told repeatedly that the Christian market does not sell memoir, really, although memoir sells really well in the so-called secular or mainstream markets.” This conflicts with the very notion of evangelism, the power of personal testimony to open hearts and bring people to know Jesus. Her memoir was centered around grief and her response to it; several years ago, she lost her sister and then her father in an eight-month span of time, and it felt like the end. “For me, grief dredges up all of these existential questions,” which leads her onto an unstable path of questioning, searching for answers, and spiraling into her own head.
Ashley and her husband Steven Lande in their living room in Leon, Kansas.
Ashley has struggled with episodic depression, anxiety, and panic disorders since she was a child. This winter, Ashley hospitalized herself for five days due to unremitting panic attacks. She describes the sensation of having a panic attack as “a hellish place, an overwhelming feeling of dread and need to escape” that can come on as a crescendo or in unrelenting waves, rarely with an absolute beginning or end. Every time she wonders, “What if this is my dissent into complete madness?” The root of her panic attacks seems to be caused in part by her quest for truth, understanding, and possibly control. “I think there is a component of OCD in it for me too, usually oriented around getting really obsessed with a particular topic,” she explains. “If there are compulsions, they are mental compulsions, or constantly seeking reassurance and answers, and obsessively researching something to resolve my feelings or provide security and reassurance,” which, of course, can be a rabbit hole in which one is easily lost.
The OCD translates into her artwork as well. She likes her work to be orderly and precise. “I’m not a very organized or orderly person,” she admits, “but in my artwork I like things to be.” For example, working with chalk pastels would never be her choice, and when forced to do so (in art therapy) she ended up in tears. “It’s messy and it’s gross” she said in high contrast to the .5 mm and .3 mm mechanical pencils she uses in her highly detailed drawings. “It is “comforting for me to be precise and measured” she says of her work. That sense of precision also translates to efficiency as well. “I don’t have a sketchbook because I don’t like creative waste.” She aims to create only orderly, finished deliverables with no loose ends or fraying edges. But this level of control in life, or process, isn’t always possible.
Love One Another, 2020. Acrylic paint and gold leaf on wood.
While making art may help calm her nerves, she has realized that “I can’t fix it by myself” in regard to her struggles with mental illness, and she has acquiesced to taking medication, which she resisted for years. “It has helped control things but doesn’t solve all of my problems” she admits. She also goes to therapy and relies heavily on her relationships for support and to help her keep a healthy perspective. She particularly appreciates her female friendships and elder women mentors “who can reorient me and my thinking, speak truth to me, and encourage me.” Routine is also a great tool for maintaining mental balance. She walks four or five miles every evening with a friend, which combines the benefits of routine and friendship with exercise, and it has become an integral part of her holistic approach to wellness. Also, “it’s essential for me, my mental health, and my being to have a creative outlet,” which is why it is so important to designate time for specifically for writing and drawing. And she has no shortage of ideas. In addition to a commissioned artwork she will soon be starting, she is also not discouraged from writing another memoir, even if the market isn’t ready to receive it.
“We can come to know truth in a myriad of ways, and I think story is a way to know truth” she reflects. Her story is one I will anticipate reading, whenever that may be.
To see Ashley’s artwork and sample her writing, visit https://www.ashleylande.com/ or find her on Instagram at @ashleybess
